.joshie//journal

Blah to life. My anxiety has perked its head back up again... when I thought I had it defeated, for good. I'm just a miserable mess now... making others lives miserable too. I need to get back in the game.

Thing is, which sucks the most, is that I don't know why exactly my anxiety and depression has come back. Nothing in my life is horrible. Nothing in my life is really all that bad. Some stuff may not be where I want them, but that doesn't mean that how stuff is right now isn't "good".

Bleh. I need to write more often. And need to get to sleep soon. Yes. Good night, Livejournal world.

Woah. Did that all really happen?

I'm quickly starting to fall apart. So bitter with the world around me. So easily angered, and set off. I feel like I once had my own two feet to stand on, but it's been so far forgotten, then I'm either collapsing to the ground, or curled up on the mattress. Every attempt to break myself out of this downfall only seems to bring me closer to no return. I feel so lost, and without any idea of where I need to be. All I know is that it's somewhere not here.

I have ideas of what I need to do to get there, but there's a voice inside of me, telling me that it's a dangerous route to take. Telling me to stick it out. I know what would happen if I listened to it, I would just be stuck where I am today. I am hopeless. I can't do a damn thing good for myself. I can't do much good for others. I really am hopeless.



(Don't take this as my constant attitude, please - although it is becoming a bit too common). I just feel down after I did one of my usual mess-ups, and felt the need to berate myself. Or perhaps vent a bit. Yeah, let's say "vent" - because I certainly feel a bit more chipper now that I'm not carrying this around. Thanks for listening.)

Soundtrack to the movie "Juno". It's a great movie, with a just-as-good soundtrack. Download it. Listen. Dance, smile and be happy.



http://www.sendspace.com/file/vip7cy

01. "All I Want Is You" Barry Louis Polisar
02. "Rollercoaster" Juno Film Version - Kimya Dawson
03. "A Well Respected Man" The Kinks
04. "Dearest" Buddy Holly
05. "Up The Spout" Mateo Messina
06. "Tire Swing" Kimya Dawson
07. "Piazza, New York Catcher" Belle & Sebastian
08. "Loose Lips" Kimya Dawson
09. "Superstar" Sonic Youth
10. "Sleep" Instrumental - Kimya Dawson
11. "Expectations" Belle & Sebastian
12. "All The Young Dudes" Mott The Hoople
13. "So Nice So Smart" Kimya Dawson
14. "Sea of Love" Cat Power
15. "Tree Hugger" Kimya Dawson and Antsy Pants
16. "I'm Sticking With You" Velvet Underground
17. "Anyone Else but You" The Moldy Peaches
18. "Vampire" Antsy Pants
19. "Anyone Else But You" Ellen Page and Michael Cera

(From Erin)

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result.


God, I suck at Photoshop...

Happy New Year, people.

So far, mine has been filled with a bunch of lonesomeness (aside from
time spent with the dog, Prince), as Maribeth is spending a bit of her
winter break out in Pittsburgh. You know, as much as we fight, and
with all that needs to be changed in the relationship, time apart,
like this, really makes me realize just how much I actually enjoy
having her around.

I'll try to be a better lj poster this year. It is good to get
feelings and thoughts out. :)

For the first three people that reply to me and re-post this challenge - I will send you something.
It might be something I've made, or something cool from my hidden stash.
Whatever it is, I promise that I will get it to you in 365 days or less. (I will need your snail mail if you're not local).
The only thing you need to do in order to participate is to be one of the first three to reply to this, AND you must post this very same thing on YOUR live journal.

:o

I'm moving to Akron.

I haven't given a real update on my life recently. So, I'll try to do that right now. And I'll try my hardest to keep it short.

Work's been busy. Stressful. Starting to slow down now.

Turvy, one of my dwarf hamsters, died a few days ago. It still manages to make me sad.

I got to hang out with a friend of mine a couple weeks ago. Andrew, from school. He's a cool kid. If things work out as planned*, we might be hanging out a lot more soon.

My grandma was in the hospital a few days ago. She's a bit sick. We haven't talked about it much, but it doesn't seem like anything too serious.

Therapy has been going well. I'm starting to get a bit of confidence in myself. Which is quite a feat.

Relationship with Maribeth has been really rough recently. I'm having a hard time being happy.

The new movie "Knocked Up" is excellent. It's worth any of you watching.

I have tickets to the Goo Goo Dolls with Lifehouse concert. I'm excited. Regina Spektor is coming to Cleveland soon. Tickets go on sale sooner. I'm pumped, even if it will be a far drive, it will be worth it.

Erin is in the area. We're going to hang out on Sunday. Yay.

I got a new phone (enV), so I lost nearly everyone's number. I still have the same old number. You should text me, so we can talk. "You" as in every one of you. It's on my Facebook. If you're not friends with me there, just ask here.

I lost interest in my Wii. My free time is spent between the laptop and XBox360 (I gave in and bought one!).

I want to hang out with friends more. I'm going to try to do this.




That's enough for now. Bye.

Dark you can't come soon enough for me.

http://www.petco.com/Content/HamsterDerby.aspx

HAMSTER RACES (in their balls)
MARCH 31
2 PM
PETCO
AND COUPONS FOR FREE STUFF

You purchased 2 tickets for the 07:30 PM showing of 300 - IMAX on Friday, March 09, 2007 at Cinemark Imax Theatre at Galleria Pittsburgh Mills, located at 425 PITTSBURGH MILLS CIRCLE in TARENTUM for a total of $21.50.

Ah, yee.

My girlfriend is very sweet. Amazing, wonderful and worth something. ;)
We had a fight yesterday, but we worked thing out. We do that well.
I don't tell you all of that much.
Yeah, sure, we have our times where... well, yeah... but overall, she's good people.


I missed the lunar eclipse tonight. Too many clouds and the such. Bah! Stupid raininess.


And I just saw a commercial for this place - Elmer's Aquarium. It looks like it has a LOT of fishies. Yay for that!


That is all.

http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=6291

...and I'll be going to that tomorrow. :D

Oops! I forgot to make this post a bit earlier.



Merry Christmas!

(from Josh, Dr. Jack and Miss Lucy)

If any of you bitches have a Wii, you should friend me. I know you have one, Greg. :)

1737-2210-0352​-9893

update!

I still have yet to get fired, which is good. It's a nice job. I like it.

Still with Maribeth. Things are good.

I am expecting a Wii to be delivered soon. Woo. Have Zelda sitting here, waiting to be played.

Also bought Guitar Hero 2 and FFXII. Double sex.

job + girlfriend + video games = lost social contacts. I haven't been on aim much recently. My email is joshie at gmail dot com. Email is about the best form of communication to talk to me. So you all should, even if it's just a 'hi'.

Oh, and a new hamster. Maribeth helped me picked her out. Her name is Miss Lucy. Dr Jack has yet to have his way with her, but he doesn't seem too upset about that.

I'm tired. Sleepie. Yawn. Good bye for now.
Perhaps a more in-depth entry soon. But probably not.

Baby passed away this morning. She got hit by a car. She tried to make her way back up to the house, but she couldn't go the entire way.

I'll miss her. A lot.

Pictures

LJ Talk? :o Livejournal has an im client! Clicky. Frank's making this post for me.